Reflecting With Compassion
This year in particular I’m going to be honest, was not how I had planned it to be. I consider myself to be highly intuitive, clairvoyant and clairsentient - and this year was the year 2020! The year of clarity, the year of taking back control over my life and my destiny, of finding joy, and of finding balance. I am an eternal optimist and hopeful. Trust me I have my ups and downs, but for the most part I believe that everything is going to turn out amazing! I mean, why wouldn’t you want to believe that? But this year in particular, I had BIG plans.
And here we are at the end of the year, just two more days and we ring in the new year - 2021. It’s around this time of year where I (and I know many of you) reflect back on the year - what I had planned on accomplishing, what I had envisioned coming to fruition and then, what actually happened. This year turned out VERY different than I had imagined, and it can be very disappointing to recognize that what I had planned on, may not have turned out as I had hoped. I found myself falling into the trap of asking why, and even being hard on myself for not accomplishing the goals I had set out to do. This is not a pretty place that I wanted to spend much time in.
So, here is what I chose to do instead, and I urge you to do the same. I have chosen to look back in a different way. To be an observer of what has unfolded, without attachment, just like watching a movie; the movie of my life in this last year. And in doing so, I see things with more clarity and compassion. I see tough times, but I also recognize my growth, evolution and resilience. I see the silver linings here.
In reflecting back on this year, I see that there was so much out of my control - global pandemic, inability to work, I lost my childcare options, my usual social connections and trips were cancelled. Not only that, but the external parameters kept changing as well. (I’m going to admit, I am not good with external changes and uncertainties.) I also see that once I shifted into accepting that the external parameters were out of my control, I was able to really see what it was that I could actually control and influence. Me. And now it was my choice as to what I would do with that. So, I chose to spend more time with my little boy. I chose to shift to working remotely when possible. I built a larger garden than I have ever before. I spent the summer camping in some of the most beautiful places I would never have planned on going to before. I took advantage of newly available remote learning opportunities to train with amazing breathwork and coaching teachers from around the world, and in doing so, I also realized that in order to be fully present and happy with “me”, I had some inner work to do.
This has been a year of clarity, I understand more clearly what is important to me, what brings me joy and what I have control over in my life. This has been a year of discomfort, at times, which has lead to growth, learning to adapt to change, and release attachment to external factors where possible. This has been a year where I have had so much joy in being fully present, and in creating memories with my little boy that I will cherish forever. This has been the year where I have understood that I can control my response and my reactions, and that by learning to shift and adapt, I can make amazing things happen! This has been the year that I am taking back control over my life and my destiny. It just looks a little different than I had planned on.
So, I want you to try this if you can. Look at yourself and your life, whether over the last year or another timeframe, at an outsider. Watch it like a movie, without attachment to the outcome. Perhaps you will also have more clarity, and perhaps you will also have more compassion, for yourself. You deserve it.